Whether it’s conscious or subconscious, people will let you know who they are, for better or worse. “I’m not worth it”, “I’m a pessimist”, I’m not very emotional”, “I’m a tangled mess”, “what do you see in me” or just a litany of issues, past and/or present. We’re none of us perfect, but when people clue you in (after all, they do know themselves better than you), it’s often a good idea to resist the noble impulse/reflex to say “no, no, that’s not true. We should be there for each other when we can, but caring too much is a drain. After all, we’re each ultimately responsible for our own sanity. You can’t care about someone unless they let you. And maybe they’ll come around. But only put as much effort as they do.
It’s against my nature to be dispassionate, but I’ve learned many times that if you discount their words and get invested anyway, you can’t say they don’t warn you.