I try to stop prefacing myself, but I will here, because though not intentional, the following may very well come across as self-important. It is merely one person’s thoughts, that is all. As a matter of fact and coincidence, rather than intent, almost all of the music I listen to could be qualified as “indie” or “underground”, even if it’s not all that obscure. I just can’t fucking stand the radio. It’s not political, I just can’t fathom how people can listen to the same shit over, and over, and over, and over, and over , and over (“oh my god I love this song!” Uh not really, it’s just been bludgeoned into your head. I would bet a million bucks that if a truly incredible song like “Thursday” by Asobi Seksu were all over the radio, you’d love that too.)
I have a small iHome dock/speaker at my desk at work, because it beats iPod speakers. I keep the volume relatively low, out of respect. But I love that little contraption. This past week I was listening to a couple of Camera Obscura songs, and two cellmates wanted me to stop playing sad music. (Two fucking songs! Versus the catalog of top 40 pop and soft favorites on repeat every other hour….) First of all, one of the things I like about CO is that while their sound is often decidedly melancholy, I never get sad listening to it. It’s hard to wallow in the face of beauty. On the contrary, their music makes me feel good. However, I could not convince my co-workers of this. Hey, they’re lovely girls, this is not personal, but I felt I had to explain myself (which I HATE to do), that this actually makes me happy, so you should sort of be happy for me, especially since I had had a grumpy morning up to that point. And I even got teased about it later, to play some music, but not something sad. Besides, I really do think there is truth behind every joke. You laugh and say “this is so sad”, but you probably mean to say, “what is this crap?” Sorry I’m not always perky. Superficial much? Talk about boring. Sorry if my moods and layers occasionally show. I’m, you know, human?
Honestly, it doesn’t bother me, I didn’t apologize anyway. I essentially said, “well, tough, this is what lifts my spirits, you should be happy for me.” I had brunch with a friend this morning (so delicious, too much food!) and I was surprised to hear her back me up when wondering why so many women still want that, the sentimental, take-care-of-me, damsel mentality at the core. (Hell, I dated one for a while, and only realized that about her almost five years after the fact.) That they would rather have the cheap, easy, comforting, sheened and whitewashed pablum of Bruno “you’re amazing just the way you are” Mars (or an equivalent), than Dan Boeckner of Wolf Parade belting out, imperfectly, “you’re my favorite thing, I tell it everywhere I go, I don’t know what to do– this heart’s on fire, this heart’s on fire!” is fucking perplexing. I hate to sound dramatic, but is passion really dead??? I hate macho, patriarchal b.s. as much as anyone, but are women really that impressed by emascualted, wheezing falsettos? Is that what passes for sincerity these days? Funny, because later that week, my co-worker (who is engaged) asked me about my ideal woman. I basically ended up saying, “the opposite of that”. Capable of affection, empathy, honesty, heart, but also an explorer, reasonably intelligent, and independent as hell. Outspoken, but capable of restraint and poetry. Strong and vulnerable. Doesn’t need affection to feel validated. A woman who, in some ways, doesn’t really need you. Strength of personality, mmm sexy.
Anyway, this wasn’t meant to be about music, or about women, I was mostly just bothered how close-minded people and hypocritical people are, and insensitive, when you think about it. “Ugh, this is different, play something crowd-pleasing.” The first time my co-worker heard “Thursday”, she hated it after 30 seconds. Well, I may dislike your music, but at least I’ve heard it countless times and have had time to develop a fair impression, rather than 30 seconds. (Also it pisses me off because that’s one of my all-time favorite songs 🙂 It’s like riding in a car and listening to someone else’s music and not saying a word, then being the driver and having them turn down your music, then trying to play things people might like next time. Well, at least I’ve learned to stop apologizing and I don’t change the songs. Tough shit, people. It’s called being the bigger person and accepting how they are, geez. If I can exemplify it most of the time, so can you. Where are these people who can?
Well, that’s another story….
Some quintessential Camera Obscura to go with this rant, so it’s not totally a bummer. Always an appropriate song.
Song: Let’s Get Out Of This Country
Artist: Camera Obscura
Album: Let’s Get Out Of This Country