You know what you shouldn’t do if you know what’s good for you? Don’t watch any movie or parts of movies back-to-back where the words “true love” come up. Whether by accident or subconsciously on purpose, I did. Princesses and star-crossed lovers don’t go well with solitary hopefuls. I’ve said before that I’m more hopeful and idealistic than when I was young, so maybe that’s why I even own these movies. The only good thing I can think of is that it makes these similar types of people easier to spot, especially at my age (I try to act all old and wise now that I’m 30). Energy ebbs, and gradually declines, but mine seems to stay steady, maybe increase. Hell, I was born with, I can’t explain it. Without conceit, I can say I don’t know many people my age, or in general, who are as energetic, in body and mind, as I am. It’s nature, we can’t all be a spaz. But, people just do tend to lose that spark, it’s natural.
Objectively, as a rule, people tend to settle into their lives, and it’s not just a middle age thing. See young person go crazy, get it out of their system, and then want to build a nest, and pull their boundaries in. Earlier today, I spoke with a wonderful red-headed friend of mine (hee) and she told me of something she came across in her psych studies, that the instant you have kids, you’re never the same, your happiness potential plateaus, even after they’re grown and leave home. It’s not undesirable to do so, but rather, there’s plenty of time to make yourself happy first. What made this a little more interesting is that I’ve know this friend to be quite idealistic, adorably so, and a little naive, into the marriage and family fantasy, yet now, “I won’t have children until I’m 50.” Then, she felt bad for her mom 🙂 “Your life is never the same after kids” isn’t news, yet some people do fall right into it. We also spoke of people we know who are pregnant at a very young age, early 20s, and it seems like “what’s the rush?” Of course you have to take into account intentions, and it’s certainly not my place to do so. But of all the things to do, having children is one you should do on your own terms. (Granted, it’s a luxury and a fairytale, but if I ever do it, I’ll sincerely want them, and then, only if I’m madly in love with my lady, should she ever materialize.)
But it does remind me of what I wrote about my family reunion in July, about how I discovered that I don’t want to have kids for a while. I used to look forward to it, being a dad, playing with the kids and all, and now I am perfectly happy being an uncle, it has no effect on the love I have to give. It was a realization of how selfish I am, how I need to make myself and other people happy as much as possible before making such a sacrifice, lord knows it is. So now I feel that much more validated, ha ha, knowing that I can identify with someone on such an issue makes me feel less out-of-place. And, as my opening lines attest to, still realistically hopeful and idealistic. People like that that you feel good around, you hang on to them (heh, part of what made me come up here).
My kitty cat has a thick coat to keep her warm. I wish I had one, then I could run around naked too.