Sammy the Seal

To pine is human

In Uncategorized on Saturday, 31 May, 2008 at 2:41

We’re all entitled to feel dramatic, now and again, so here I go. (But, this is anything but spontaneous and irrational). I was at a friend’s birthday tonight, so this all might not seem so coincidental (and in truth, it really is not, but I don’t want to reveal much), even though I tried to convince myself it was. I had two pouty, pathetic realizations tonight, which I suppose I thought I was too old and mature for, something like that. But you’re never too old to feel insecure, eh?

1) I wish I had a couple more friends closer to my age. I love my people, but just about everyone is at least 3-4 years younger than me. Despite what people tell me (the waitress at the pool hall, even: “you have a baby face!”), it makes me feel old. Now that I think about it, It’s broader than age, more like I feel out of place. A LOT. (Yeah, join the club, I know…)

and

2) I really, really miss being in love.

I think if I had #2, it would solve #1. (At the least, I’d be more carefree and energetic.)

(This, I swear, is coincidence, but I got home, plugged ipod into the stereo, then had a shower. And what, out of 2900 songs, played shortly before I sat down to write this? “Lover, You Should Have Come Over” by Jeff Buckley. Thanks a lot, more wishful thinking.)

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  1. Oh, I love that song, though it does tend to trigger some deep/awkward emotions.

    Keep your youthful chin up, Sammy. 🙂

  2. Thanks for the link. No laughs here, only empathy. I was being kind of pouty myself this morning — have been for the past two or three days actually. Mainly because I can’t get this one particular male out of my head that I had feelings for/have feelings for/had/have/had/have… (it goes like that) who barely gives me the time of day. He’ll throw a few random crumbs here and there, but it’s pretty obvious he isn’t into me at all. Which is fine sometimes. And sometimes I’d rather miss being in love than to be in love with someone who finds me less interesting than watching paint dry. So, yeah, I get sulky and pouty wondering if I’ll ever experience requited love again. My iTunes went all philosophical and gave me Aimee Mann’s Wise Up.

    So have you found any friends your own age since this post?

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